It's all about relationship.
“It’s all about relationship.” Umm…what?
I’m going to be honest with you: I didn’t believe it. The notion that therapy hinges on relationship seemed absurd to me. By nature, I’m a formula person. Give me a formula: You do X + Y, you get Z. However, what I quickly learned is that relationship doesn’t work the same way. It isn’t a formula. True relationship is about being. And the TRUEST therapy happens in the heart of just BEING.
Just "being” could simply mean sitting across from a child, on the floor, attuned to his/her excitement, mirroring his/her emotion. Playing Uno without any distractions, looking eye-to-eye. Tracking the child’s play as he/she makes a masterpiece in the sand tray. What may seem a “waste of time” to our fast paced, productive American culture, can bring the greatest gain to a child or teen longing to be seen, heard, and valued. If a child doesn’t feel seen, heard, and valued, then therapy IS wasted time. The child or teen will simply use the same blocking strategies and behaviors with the therapist that he/she is using in other places he/she doesn’t feel safe.
To quote Karyn Purvis, founder of Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI): “Our goal is to see the precious child who exists beneath the survival strategies and let them know that we see them.” It’s about relationship – a relationship that demonstrates a felt safety that allows survival strategies to melt away. It may take time, but healing DOES happen through relationship.
In therapy, my goal is to BE with your child, providing a safe place to process the hurts of life. Not only will I provide this safety for your child or teen, but I'll equip YOU to provide them with the same.
After all, it’s all about relationship.